In English, we instinctively adjust our language based on who we’re talking to. The way you ask a friend for a favor (“Hey, can you grab me a coffee?”) is worlds away from how you’d ask your CEO (“Excuse me, would it be possible for me to speak with you for a moment?”). This shift in tone and vocabulary is a universal feature of human communication. But in Japanese, this concept isn’t just a matter of choosing different words; it’s a deeply integrated grammatical system known as Keigo (敬語), or “respectful language.”
Keigo is more than just saying “please” and “thank you.” It’s an intricate architecture of politeness that shapes verbs, nouns, and sentence structures to reflect the precise social relationship between the speaker, the listener, and the person being discussed. It’s a linguistic dance, and understanding its steps offers a profound insight into the cultural value of social harmony in Japan.
At the heart of Keigo is the concept of uchi-soto (内 Soto), which translates to “inside” and “outside.” This cultural principle divides the world into in-groups (uchi) and out-groups (soto).
This dynamic is relative. Your boss is part of your uchi group when you’re speaking to a client from another company. In that context, you would speak humbly about your boss. However, when you’re speaking directly *to* your boss, they are your superior, and you must use respectful language toward them. Mastering Keigo means constantly assessing your position relative to others and adjusting your grammar accordingly.
Keigo is broadly divided into three main categories. While learners often find them daunting, thinking of them by their function makes them much easier to grasp: elevating others, humbling yourself, and general politeness.
If you’ve ever studied basic Japanese, you’ve already used Teineigo. This is the standard, all-purpose polite language used to show general respect to strangers, acquaintances, or anyone you’re not on casual terms with. It doesn’t elevate or humble anyone; it simply creates a polite, neutral distance.
The most common markers of Teineigo are:
Teineigo is the workhorse of polite Japanese. It’s the safe, reliable choice when you’re unsure of the social dynamics at play.
Sonkeigo is where the real art of Keigo begins. This form is used when you are speaking about someone of higher social status—a boss, a customer, an elder, or a respected teacher. It functions by elevating the other person and their actions, essentially putting them on a linguistic pedestal.
This is achieved by using special verbs and expressions. These aren’t just polite versions; they are entirely different words.
Examples of Sonkeigo Verbs:
So, instead of asking your boss, “When will you eat lunch?” (Itsu hiru-gohan o tabemasu ka?), you would ask, “When will you partake of your lunch?” (Itsu hiru-gohan o meshiagarimasu ka?). You are using a special verb to describe their action respectfully.
If Sonkeigo elevates others, Kenjōgo does the opposite: it humbles you and your in-group. You use Kenjōgo when speaking about your own actions to a person of higher status. By lowering yourself, you indirectly elevate the listener.
Like Sonkeigo, this form uses its own set of special verbs.
Examples of Kenjōgo Verbs:
For example, if you are telling your client you will visit their office, you wouldn’t say ikimasu (I will go). Instead, you would say, “I will humbly go” — mairimasu (参ります). If you are introducing yourself, you would say, “My name is [Name]” using the humble form: [Name] to mōshimasu.
Imagine a student, Yamada, speaking to their professor, Tanaka-sensei. The context demands a careful mix of Sonkeigo and Kenjōgo.
Yamada wants to ask Tanaka-sensei if they have seen the report he submitted.
Yamada: 「先生、私がお送りしたレポートをご覧になりましたか。」
(Sensei, watashi ga o-okuri shita repōto o goran ni narimashita ka?)
Let’s break this down:
In one sentence, Yamada has linguistically bowed to his professor while simultaneously placing him on a higher level. This is the essence of Keigo in action.
Mastering Keigo is a lifelong journey, even for native Japanese speakers. In fact, there’s a phenomenon called baito keigo (“part-timer Keigo”), where young workers misuse honorifics in ways that sound awkward or incorrect to seasoned ears. This highlights that Keigo is not just about memorizing vocabulary lists; it’s about developing a sensitivity to social context and an attitude of consideration (omoiyari).
For language learners, the path can be steep. But approaching Keigo not as a rigid set of rules but as a window into the Japanese emphasis on harmony (wa, 和) can make it one of the most rewarding aspects of learning the language. It reveals how a culture’s deepest values can be woven into the very fabric of its grammar, turning every conversation into an act of social awareness.
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